John 11:35 - Jesus wept. 

I have always loved the story of Jesus weeping with Mary. The way He knew Lazarus would be a living man again yet still took time to sit and weep  with someone He loves is such a display of His kindness. Jesus is in the business of healing our hurts, but He is also ready to hold us tight as we come to His throne room with our pain. He is here to sit with us and allow us to feel our sorrow. This is actually quite beautiful; The intimacy that comes with a father holding his weeping child as opposed to one who never allows us to struggle is not a trade I would make. I think about my own dad, and how my favorite moments with him have not been when he immediately solves my problems, but instead sits with me, lets me cry on his shoulder, and then after we have a conversation of how to make things better. 

The Father has really been working in my heart to feel deeply for the people around me, and actually show it when I do. In the past few months I have realized a tendency in myself to always want to make people feel better right away when they are struggling. I want to solve my friends’ issues and make them happy again. Instead what I found myself doing was downplaying their hurts, basically telling them things were fine when what they needed was someone to validate them in the way their Father does. The Lord showed me how I can be more like Him to others in many different ways, and through a few hard conversations with people. I knew the risk of what He was asking me. It is not easy to feel deeply, and it is even harder to wear your heart on your sleeve. It is vulnerable! However, we are called to the life of carrying one another’s burdens(Galations 6:2), and I have learned that this does not mean try to take it from them and make it disappear. 

I had a moment with a teammate of mine who faced a major disappointment recently. She was hurting and we sat down to talk about it. My first thoughts while she was explaining her situation to me were: How can you make her feel better? What can you do to make everything fine? Then the Lord stopped me. He said “weep with her, Ella”. And so I did. Instead of keeping what she told me in my head, I moved it to my heart. And I wept with her. I cried the Lord’s tears with her, and told her that it was okay to sit in this feeling. After crying together and praying at the feet of Jesus, we talked about the way this would turn into redemption and something good. I am so grateful for this precious moment the Lord gifted to me, and it has been more precious than any time that I have been able to give someone an immediate fix. The Lord has given me quite a few opportunities to weep with His people since then, and this new perspective is one I pray to never lose. 

The point of this blog is not to tell you to always sit in your hurts and never let it get better, but to remind you that it is okay to feel pain, to bring it to your Father, and to be ready for Him to validate and comfort you, even though He knows restoration is coming He will still take the time to just be with you. The beauty of always looking more like Jesus is that we get to love others in this same way! 

So there is a big ole piece of my heart recently. Thanks for reading!

<3, Ella