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Weep with her, Ella.

John 11:35 – Jesus wept. 

I have always loved the story of Jesus weeping with Mary. The way He knew Lazarus would be a living man again yet still took time to sit and weep  with someone He loves is such a display of His kindness. Jesus is in the business of healing our hurts, but He is also ready to hold us tight as we come to His throne room with our pain. He is here to sit with us and allow us to feel our sorrow. This is actually quite beautiful; The intimacy that comes with a father holding his weeping child as opposed to one who never allows us to struggle is not a trade I would make. I think about my own dad, and how my favorite moments with him have not been when he immediately solves my problems, but instead sits with me, lets me cry on his shoulder, and then after we have a conversation of how to make things better. 

The Father has really been working in my heart to feel deeply for the people around me, and actually show it when I do. In the past few months I have realized a tendency in myself to always want to make people feel better right away when they are struggling. I want to solve my friends’ issues and make them happy again. Instead what I found myself doing was downplaying their hurts, basically telling them things were fine when what they needed was someone to validate them in the way their Father does. The Lord showed me how I can be more like Him to others in many different ways, and through a few hard conversations with people. I knew the risk of what He was asking me. It is not easy to feel deeply, and it is even harder to wear your heart on your sleeve. It is vulnerable! However, we are called to the life of carrying one another’s burdens(Galations 6:2), and I have learned that this does not mean try to take it from them and make it disappear. 

I had a moment with a teammate of mine who faced a major disappointment recently. She was hurting and we sat down to talk about it. My first thoughts while she was explaining her situation to me were: How can you make her feel better? What can you do to make everything fine? Then the Lord stopped me. He said “weep with her, Ella”. And so I did. Instead of keeping what she told me in my head, I moved it to my heart. And I wept with her. I cried the Lord’s tears with her, and told her that it was okay to sit in this feeling. After crying together and praying at the feet of Jesus, we talked about the way this would turn into redemption and something good. I am so grateful for this precious moment the Lord gifted to me, and it has been more precious than any time that I have been able to give someone an immediate fix. The Lord has given me quite a few opportunities to weep with His people since then, and this new perspective is one I pray to never lose. 

The point of this blog is not to tell you to always sit in your hurts and never let it get better, but to remind you that it is okay to feel pain, to bring it to your Father, and to be ready for Him to validate and comfort you, even though He knows restoration is coming He will still take the time to just be with you. The beauty of always looking more like Jesus is that we get to love others in this same way! 

So there is a big ole piece of my heart recently. Thanks for reading!

<3, Ella 

18 Comments

  1. What a beautiful lesson you are learning . I also am a fixer . It is a very hard lesson to learn get out of the way and watch God grow another person through good and sad times . God is blessing you so much in your growth .

  2. Is this the Ella I know???
    Hahah but all jokes aside, I see the fruit budding from all those hard days the Lord was planting seed in the dirt of your heart!! You are seen! Precious! Held! Pursued!

  3. Beautiful, Ella. God will use the tender, compassionate heart He is growing in you to more fully reflect Christ in you, to be a blessing to many. Thanks for sharing.
    (Katherine’s Mama)

  4. Ella,
    Such a blessing to have read your blog, it brought back great memories. The Christ is certainly seen in your sharing. Be encouraged, praying for you that God will continue to use you as an instrument for his purpose.
    Blessings! ??????
    (Friend of your grandmother, Rosa)

  5. I so needed this reminder! Thank you so much, Ella! I am a fixer, and sometimes there are things that we can’t fix. What a joy to know that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us so much he weeps with us. I love having a chance to see how God is working in your life during this trip, Ella. Love you much and praying for you often! ????

  6. Wow Ella! Thank you so much for sharing this! I am learning similar things and your words hit my heart in good ways-reminding me of some things I too am working thru! Love you and am thankful to know you!

  7. It definitely has been a hard lesson. such a vulnerable one and one requiring lots of trust. I am grateful for these opportunities He is giving me to learn more of His character 🙂

  8. Thank you! It is such a joy to have more of His heart revealed the more intimate with Him I grow. Love to you!

  9. We really do have similar personalities! It really is such a joy to know. I miss you and love you so much! Holding on tight to all you have spoken over on me.

  10. Thank you so much Cimone! I am thankful to know you too. Thank you for all your support and encouragement.

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